When Joanna and I took ownership of the store in March 2013, we purchased with the business most of the store's inventory. One such item was the book pictured at right. Three copies of it. Hiding in some corner of the store.
For a month or so, I'd look at them each day and grimace. Why were they here in a toy store? And could anyone vouch for this book's claims? You know, because potty training is HARD. And achieving that milestone in a single day just seems... well, impossible.
Look, I'm a Dad. And there were days when my kids were at that age and they weren't able to finish breakfast in a single day, much less know their way around the toilet well enough to pack away their diapers for all eternity.
Also, based on the book's cover art, I was convinced this author had mistakenly potty trained a Corolle doll during a little girl's birthday party and decided to write a book about it when the girl's kid brother promised not to tell anyone the "miracle baby" was made of plastic and fake diapers.
I will say, though, quite proudly, that Joanna accomplished full potty training with Grace in just 2.5 days - and at the time, I honestly thought I'd married Wonder Woman. (That quickly changed when it was Quinn's turn on the throne and Joanna took on the appearance more closely resembling Medusa.)
Anyway... one day, we sold a copy of the book. I wasn't in the store at the time, but when I learned later it had sold, I got dizzy. I could imagine the scene at the store the next day - a young mother walking quickly into the back room as I stood restocking Bacon Air Fresheners, holding a crying child at arm's length as she forced him in my arms, all wet and unpleasant like a bag of post-game football uniforms. Then, just as quickly, her walking out of the store with a, "See you in 24 hours, Sherlock! Give the bacon a try."
It didn't happen, but I moved the book off the floor soon after, anyway. And promptly forgot about it. Until yesterday, when I came across the two remaining copies in the back of the store. That's when I did some checking online and found that the customer reviews were actually quite good. Sure, most readers stated one day to train was in fact not realistic, but parents who had been struggling with their child found the author's techniques - whatever they may be - quite effective.
So... any positive-thinking (or desperate) young moms out there want one? (They're free. I'll even toss in a bacon air freshener.)
Patrick Holland, born in a Cabbage Patch and raised inside the Honeycomb Hideout, is a former Oompa Loompa. He is now co-owner of Mountain Top Toys (with his not-so-silent partner and wife, Joanna), and parent to two daughters, both of whom are beginning to realize their father is just plain nuts. .